Thursday, September 5, 2013

I wish THIS wasn't my attempt at a comeback.

Posted by risma wanti at 7:30 AM
Oh, hi! Fancy meeting you here! Where have I been? Oh, you know, around. I'm not going to waste too much blog space with my excuses for not writing because... no one wants to read that. Unless it's Oh Jones. I will always want to read why she's been absent.

Welcome back, Reader. I've missed you.

Excuses aside, I've pretty much been taking everything that I would have written into a blog post and condensing it down into very long texts to a friend. So, sorry about that, KT. I've been bombarding you with not-so-interesting dribble about how overalls are in style now, what I ate for lunch, and how someone incorrectly said "Good move, Exlax." at Target. Even though you always reply to me like the good friend you are, I'm going to scale it back and take it to the blog where I can try to convince myself that matters like the following story are something worth sharing on the Internet 4EVER.

Waiting for my friend's "I've landed." text that I received two hours late.

So! I picked up my best friend from the airport Tuesday night. Being the Jet Setter she is, normally her flights come in at about middle-of-the-night o'clock but last night she was set to land some time between early bird dinner and normal person dinner. This gave me just enough time to hit up some discount department stores (where I "never pay full price for fabulous"!) before her flight landed. In between some quality time at DSW and Marshalls I went to HomeGoods because it's awesome. When is this story going to get interesting, you ask? It doesn't, Reader. It doesn't.

Anyway, I went into HomeGoods which sells, well, home goods. You know - towels, dishes, rugs, fake English telephone booths, dog beds that look like couches - the best kind of stuff. So, of course I headed to the fancy salt and olive oil aisle because I'm a human who eats fancy discount food (I did start my career at Grocery Outlet: Bargain Market, after all!) and ended up leaving with this:

Obviously I haven't been spending my blog downtime getting manicures.

If you've ever had these chips you'll understand why I would buy them while shopping at a home store. They totaled a whopping $2.79 so of course I didn't even blink when the cashier asked me: "Would you like to sign up for a rewards credit card and save 10% today?" Because why wouldn't a girl who's buying a $2.79 bag of chips at a home decor store want to save 27 pennies by signing up for a credit card?! Yes, ma'am, thank you for asking! I do all of my grocery shopping at HomeGoods so SIGN. ME. UP.

There. THAT was the big climax of this story, Reader. I'm sorry. And I'm especially sorry to KT and anyone else reading this (coughDesicough) that I texted the synopsis of this story to. Hold on though, let me wrap this up....

I mean, I know how it works; she is supposed to say that crap or else she'll get reprimanded with some stern managerial threats of having to dust lamps in the lighting section. I've worked in customer service, I know this, but STILL. Come on, Lady. I'm going to save that discount for someday when I want to buy a pack of gum or some clearance pasta. You know, something that would make it worth it. Big wink and open-mouthed smile.

.....

And THAT is my big comeback to blogging after my summer hiatus. I, too, wish it was a more impressive return, Reader. One with lovely photographs and collegiate-level words but, obviously, I'm a little rusty.

Umm... okay, bye.


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